I am not, by nature, a competitive person.
I don't think there is really all that much in life worth being competitive over.
I care about things, deeply. And I will fight for the things I care about. But it seems to me that if I have to fight with someone over something I would have to care about that something an awful lot.
True love?
Worth fighting for.
Who has bigger boobs?
Not.
This tid-bit of information now exposed, it should be said that me and people like me see through this bullshit in about 0.002 seconds. Some of you may think that you are being sly, or slick, or charming, but the truth is you just look like the type of person who would gladly gnaw off their left thumb than be wrong even once. When people like me meet people like you, most of you will get away with it. Sad, but true. Pointing it out, often, only makes things worse and I, personally, don't have the energy to fight for the last word.
And I don't care all that much.
So, though out my years of existence I have deduced that there are a few different ways that this competitive gene manifests itself in people. As I have said previously, this usually isn't a big deal. Yes, I will judge you, but no, I will not call you out on it.
The first of the data set can and should be described as the " I-know! I..." They can be spotted by the use of the phrase, I know! I... which is then usually followed by a story of their own.
Notice the abundance of the word I. These are the type of people who cannot help but turn your story back around on themselves. They can skillfully take a decent conversation and turn it into a way for you to feel like shit and for them to feel like something only slightly better.
Mushrooms, maybe.
Whatever the case, often they go out of their way to make sure the story they are telling you cannot possibly be "beat" or "one-upped."
Mushrooms, maybe.
Whatever the case, often they go out of their way to make sure the story they are telling you cannot possibly be "beat" or "one-upped."
Say you have recently found yourself going through a prolonged illness or injury.
The "I-know! I..." will take the sharing of your pain, not as an attempt to express your frustration with the situation but rather as an invitation to explain to you why you don't really have it that bad. They will always have had an injury much worse, even if they didn't. The "I-know! I..." is also very fond of randomly interjecting these same type of stories into a conversation even when said interjection has little or nothing to do with the topic being discussed.
The truth about the "I-know! I.." is that they are probably the least annoying of the types on this list. They mean well, but they simply cannot help themselves. This isn't saying that they shouldn't be called out eventually but I warn you, calling out this particular type of person can result in a perceived over-reaction. Given that the "I-know! I.." commits a rather small infraction, often it's not worth the argument that might follow.
The second of the data set can be called the "naner,naner,naner" so called because of the elementary way in which they like to win.
Nanners can be most closely linked to the teacher's pet from your days in elementary mediocrity, although they do share characteristics with the tall kid who would hold your backpack over his head and make you jump for it. These people have at least some legitimate claim to the throne upon which they so haughtily sit. They usually have some grounds on which to brag and because of that it is inappropriate to be angered by their achievements. What isn't inappropriate is to be pissed off when they never let you forget it.
By referencing that one time they urinated off the top of an outhouse, or killed a man in Reno just to watch him die, they will find some way to stake their flag of achievement into your otherwise painless and normal existence.Nanners can either be former high achievers or current high achievers, it matters not.
Now, the truth about the Nanners is that they know exactly what they are doing and, usually, they just don't care. Motivations differ Nanner to Nanner, but often it stems from lack of self confidence. This fact might incline you to take it easy on the Nanner: don't. The last thing they need is someone going along with their ploy. But don't call it out either. No, the best course of action is just to simply be supportive. When they nanner all over you just bring attention back to the things about them that really make them special.
Point out their sense of humor if they have one.
The third and most enraging of all the manifestations I lovingly call, "gum-shoes" for their uncanny ability to get stuck to your life and never leave. These annoying little pricks go out of their way to take away all you hold dear, simply because they can. The kicker is that once they have it, and they will, they prance about, making sure that you notice just what is going on.
Say you are up for a promotion along with the gum-shoe. Now, everyone in the office knows you deserve it. They know how much work you put in and that you are the best person for the job. The gum-shoe is the type of person who will go out of their way to point out your flaws without ever once mentioning their own. Now, its good business sense to promote yourself in these situations but what is different about the gum-shoe is that they don't promote themselves they demote you. Now, once the gum-shoe gets the promotion, which they will, they will use this new found power to make your life a living hell. Don't get me wrong gum-shoes don't limit this to the workplace.
I have had friends, actual human people, be used as pawns in this asinine game.
This is the same kind of behavior we see though out middle and high school and often this is exactly where the gum-shoe learned that they can get away with it. I will not point out why this, in itself, should be reason enough for anyone to analyze their behavior. Instead, I will simply say that any recourse you would have taken while under the age of 19, should be viewed as a non-existent option once grown.
The gum-shoes truth is even more disturbing than that of the Nanner. While the Nanner is aware of what they are doing, the gum-shoe actively plans just how they can make this life of yours more unbearable than it already is. The motivation for the gum-shoe is almost always a sad, sad mix of a sub-par self-confidence and a view of you as a perceived threat. The only way to deal with these people is immediate confrontation. Do no be afraid.
Clearly, these aren't the only classifications but they are the most common.
I will not fight with people like this. Often, I won't even go out of my way to deal with people like this unless absolutely necessary. They get too much joy out of your pain. The games they play with only further complicate your life, if you allow yourself to think about them too much.
I guess, at the base of all of this is the idea that these people are just as hurt as you and I and just didn't learn an appropriate way to deal with it. I wish the world could slow down long enough for them to realize that there are only a few things worth fighting for and if people would go out of their way every once in awhile, you may not ever have to fight at all. It really is all about kindness, even to the people you don't think deserve it. Be kind, be soft, but never let people treat you as if you don't matter.
You do.
The truth about the "I-know! I.." is that they are probably the least annoying of the types on this list. They mean well, but they simply cannot help themselves. This isn't saying that they shouldn't be called out eventually but I warn you, calling out this particular type of person can result in a perceived over-reaction. Given that the "I-know! I.." commits a rather small infraction, often it's not worth the argument that might follow.
The second of the data set can be called the "naner,naner,naner" so called because of the elementary way in which they like to win.
Nanners can be most closely linked to the teacher's pet from your days in elementary mediocrity, although they do share characteristics with the tall kid who would hold your backpack over his head and make you jump for it. These people have at least some legitimate claim to the throne upon which they so haughtily sit. They usually have some grounds on which to brag and because of that it is inappropriate to be angered by their achievements. What isn't inappropriate is to be pissed off when they never let you forget it.
By referencing that one time they urinated off the top of an outhouse, or killed a man in Reno just to watch him die, they will find some way to stake their flag of achievement into your otherwise painless and normal existence.Nanners can either be former high achievers or current high achievers, it matters not.
Now, the truth about the Nanners is that they know exactly what they are doing and, usually, they just don't care. Motivations differ Nanner to Nanner, but often it stems from lack of self confidence. This fact might incline you to take it easy on the Nanner: don't. The last thing they need is someone going along with their ploy. But don't call it out either. No, the best course of action is just to simply be supportive. When they nanner all over you just bring attention back to the things about them that really make them special.
Point out their sense of humor if they have one.
The third and most enraging of all the manifestations I lovingly call, "gum-shoes" for their uncanny ability to get stuck to your life and never leave. These annoying little pricks go out of their way to take away all you hold dear, simply because they can. The kicker is that once they have it, and they will, they prance about, making sure that you notice just what is going on.
Say you are up for a promotion along with the gum-shoe. Now, everyone in the office knows you deserve it. They know how much work you put in and that you are the best person for the job. The gum-shoe is the type of person who will go out of their way to point out your flaws without ever once mentioning their own. Now, its good business sense to promote yourself in these situations but what is different about the gum-shoe is that they don't promote themselves they demote you. Now, once the gum-shoe gets the promotion, which they will, they will use this new found power to make your life a living hell. Don't get me wrong gum-shoes don't limit this to the workplace.
I have had friends, actual human people, be used as pawns in this asinine game.
This is the same kind of behavior we see though out middle and high school and often this is exactly where the gum-shoe learned that they can get away with it. I will not point out why this, in itself, should be reason enough for anyone to analyze their behavior. Instead, I will simply say that any recourse you would have taken while under the age of 19, should be viewed as a non-existent option once grown.
The gum-shoes truth is even more disturbing than that of the Nanner. While the Nanner is aware of what they are doing, the gum-shoe actively plans just how they can make this life of yours more unbearable than it already is. The motivation for the gum-shoe is almost always a sad, sad mix of a sub-par self-confidence and a view of you as a perceived threat. The only way to deal with these people is immediate confrontation. Do no be afraid.
Clearly, these aren't the only classifications but they are the most common.
I will not fight with people like this. Often, I won't even go out of my way to deal with people like this unless absolutely necessary. They get too much joy out of your pain. The games they play with only further complicate your life, if you allow yourself to think about them too much.
I guess, at the base of all of this is the idea that these people are just as hurt as you and I and just didn't learn an appropriate way to deal with it. I wish the world could slow down long enough for them to realize that there are only a few things worth fighting for and if people would go out of their way every once in awhile, you may not ever have to fight at all. It really is all about kindness, even to the people you don't think deserve it. Be kind, be soft, but never let people treat you as if you don't matter.
You do.
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